Take a minute to think back to when our voices were cracking, hormones were raging and we had no clue about how life worked. Modern conveniences such as text messaging, social networking groups and my personal favorite, frappuccinos did not exsist. Despite all of the conveniences we have today one thing hasn’t changed much since I was in middle school: there are very few churches that know how to relate to middle schoolers let alone how to disciple them.
Why focus on Middle school ministry? “Barna Research claims that the overwhelming majority of Christ-followers date their conversion prior to 13 years old. After 13 years old the likelihood of conversion drops drastically.” [1] Knowing that conversions drop dramatically after 13 years of age we must do everything within our ability to reach out and disciple these students before we lose them.
Before we can begin talking about secrets to discipling middle schoolers we have to have an understanding of our role as a church. At the Focus conference, lead by Tony Lane and the YCE Department, Reggie Joiner spoke to Middle School Pastors and Children’s Pastors about how the average church only has 40 hours a year to disciple our students. He also mentioned that parents have over 3,000 hours of time that could be used for discipling. As youth pastors we have to realize that we aren’t the primary teachers in our student’s lives, Parents are! While parents may not yet realize their need for involvement we need to start shifting our attention to joining both the church and family to disciple our students. With this in mind here are 3 secrets to discipling middle schoolers as a team!
1. Learning Styles-
Mark Oestreicher and Scott Rubin have modified a description, written by Stephen Glenn, to show the way students learn at different ages.[2]
8-10 years old = Conclusive
PUBERTY HITS
11-14 years old = Sampling
Middle schoolers are caught between two very different forms of learning. Between ages 8-10 most students think they understand how life works. Between ages 11-14 they begin doubting life and start sampling how life works all over again. Somewhere around middle school, rules that use to be concrete and conclusive aren’t anymore and students go from one end of a spectrum to the complete opposite. Let’s just look at one example… growing up students aren’t allowed to walk through a store without a parent yet as they grow older they are given permission to walk through a huge mall by themselves. This example illustrates why students begin sampling life again! What used to be concrete isn’t anymore and sampling helps create new boundaries.
It is important to include in a discipleship process the way students study and learn within their developmental stage of life. For middle school age this means that discipleship must include conclusive facts from scripture coupled with the ability to sample with a hands on example. This may mean adding illustrations, a give-a-way or an activity that proves the conclusive scripture that is being taught.
One way that I’m helping parents stay connected to this stage of our discipleship process is by sending them a newsletter. In the newsletter we explain what we will be covering during the upcoming month and offering general ideas that will be addressed during the series. We also offer resources that they can use such as books, statistics, outlines and questions that could be used as follow up to our services. These help the parents to include both types of learning while discipling their students.
2. Relationships-
One of the biggest needs of the average middle schooler is the ability to develop relationships. While there are many ways we can provide opportunities for students to develop relationships we must be intentional that the methods we offer are productive to discipleship. The idea behind offering video games, cafés and music videos at a church is not to entertain our students. The entire reason we offer these things, is for our students to start developing relationships before church commences. As their need for relationships are being fulfilled, an openness to the Gospel appears. The games, café and music videos are just a means for students to build relationships in order to feel comfortable, much like the neat and orderly environment we hope for when we walk into church ourselves.
The best way to help parents disciple their middle schoolers is for us to reveal dangerous ways students connect with each other. If we were to share with all of our parents the potential problems with dating at early ages, social networking sites and the dangers of the internet we could help parents disciple their students in meaningful ways! While some parents are aware of some of these issues, we want to be a resource in our relationship with parents.
3. Volunteer-
Sometimes creating places for middle schoolers to serve is more work than doing it ourselves. However, if students are going to apply what is being taught we have to offer them a place to serve. Here at Mt. Paran North we allow our middle schoolers to play in the band, serve as ushers, operate the sound system, assist in the café, and lead activities. While the opportunities inside the church are important, giving our students opportunities to serve outside of church are equally important. Equipping our students to serve their community and share their faith has to be our priority! If we don’t engage our students to serve Christ and share their faith we’ll have a church full of people who just sit to be entertained and a religion that slowly dies off with the same generation who never spread the good news!
The best way to help parents connect to this phase of discipleship is by participating and encouraging participation. The key is family involvement. Students will naturally accept who God wants them to be, both inside the church and outside the church, as families accept their role together!
The effects of discipling middle schoolers while including their families has been humbling. This year we’ve had over 10 new families choose to serve in our ministry. Over 20 middle schoolers have been baptized! Another student, with the help of his parents, has memorized over 470 verses of scripture. Numerous students and families are now serving our church and community by volunteering. Others are sharing their story at school and in the neighborhoods bringing their friends and families to church and leading them to Christ.
Discipling middle schoolers is a challenging process. By purposefully implementing different learning styles, providing safe environments for relationships to grow and offering volunteering opportunities middle schoolers can freely begin to follow Christ as disciples should.
